Mates ……..

Over the last year or so I have sat down a couple of times to write a blog post a little off topic, but due to things that life has thrown up I thought it would be a good idea to put fingers to keyboard and share my thoughts.

Last year I was having numerous tests on different parts of my body for different reasons but due to my family history it was a bit of a reality check and the words that the GP and other doctors were using conjured up all sorts of images and things.

I’m not sure about you but I rarely go to the doctors preferring to man up and power through in the hope that it sorts itself out in a couple of days, so when I finally do go to a doctors surgery or a hospital it feels not so much a failure on my behalf, but shows a vulnerable side or a chink in my amour.

For many weeks when I was going through the tests last year I didn’t talk to my friends about the tests initially and thinking back now I think as time progressed it wasn’t so much the fact that I was purposely trying to keep it a secret but how do you start the conversation.

I ended up having the conversation after a few drinks late one evening with a couple of friends and their girlfriends and it was just a comment that I made that some one picked up on that started the conversation and it was good to finally talk about what was going on.

Fast forward to the beginning of June this year when I woke up to a message from a friend (I’ve know for about 25 years) saying ” I need to tell you something can I face time you?”, but because he lives in another country we face timed later that evening when the time zones aligned.

During the time between the message and actually hitting accept on the face time call I had thought up so many bad scenarios as to why he would want to talk to me like this, but the actual situation he finds himself in is far worse that I could have ever dreamed up.

I can’t go into what he told me here, but he has lost the majority of his friends and family as a consequence of his actions, so whilst I can’t speak for those that have turned their backs on him, I have to accept my friends in whole for their good and bad points.

Since the beginning off the year I have had the chance to catch up with a lot of friends and family, share milestone events with them and had moments where I just can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to be sharing that time, space and moment with those people.

With that being said this last three to four months I have had a lot of work on, so there has been less time to enjoy time with friends and family. It has definitely been a period which is and more about putting the hard graft in, which has left me at points quite low and at breaking point.

Lucky for me Mike and Chris (names you might know from previous post) to name a few have been on the other side of a pint when I’ve been at these low points.

I had brunch with Chris this morning and I guess why I am now able to finish off this blog post is; the last 18 months has been a full spectrum of life and after catching up with him I realized that there have been so many moments over the last 7 months when I’ve sat down with friends and we’ve taken it in turns to be the one on the other side of the pint, coffee or face time call.

I’m sure though that there have been a lot more smaller moments that go unnoticed where just by saying “yes” to meeting for drink, meeting for laps at the pool or going for that bike ride, has helped one or both of us unload or giving that breathing space or new persepctive on things.

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