Dale’s Sculling waldrobe malfuction

While I was away in the States I was chatting to one of the lads whilst we were out having a few beers and the conversation turned to his cousin and her husband Dale who I meet quite a few years back about the same time as I was rowing quite competitively. Dale at the time that I met him was rowing very competitively, but at the time for a club on the other side of London. He has since moved on from that club and I think is on his fourth club since coming to the UK to study from the continent.

I’ll get back to the story in a moment but when I got back to the apartment later that night the images that the conversation had stirred in my head were still floating around and the rowing kit that was described in the story wasn’t the same that I had seen Dale in many years ago with his crew at a regatta.

After we had said good night and I was alone in my room I thought I would check his Facebook profile out to see if I could see any of pictures of him in any of his rowing kit.

As I browsed through his profile my eyes were busy searching his photos but my mind was re-running some of the quite revealing rowing kits that some clubs have and the lighter colour kits are great to look at especially once they’ve been out on the water with the added sweat and water that has splashed up.

I have always thought that my club’s kit is quite safe being 95% dark all over the front and back panels but I always admire the rowers at clubs who have the real light colours (even white) and they still go commando which is of course in my humble opinion the only and most comfortable way to wear Lycra and this type of tight kit.

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So as I was looking through Dale’s profile I found the kit of his new club and also the kit that he was rowing in at the time of his wardrobe malfunction that the story was about. Coincidently they were of a similar design and colouring so it was great to look at his pictures and to replay the story over again.

So Dale’s new club kit basically looks like a white t-shirt with the club’s emblem on and then as you move down his torso the white is interrupted by a block of blue that continues down past his hips, waist and over his thighs.

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So on this one morning that story relates to Dale was wearing one of his old University one piece which as I mentioned earlier has a similar design to his current clubs kit although the blue in the bottom bit was a lighter blue than his current club’s but both certainly look great on him.

So as time has moved on Dale has moved from crew rowing to sculling and this Saturday morning he had come down to the club early to take his scull out for a row which started like any other outing but after rowing as far as he could and turning to head back to the club was where things didn’t go to plan.

On the journey back to the clubhouse Dale ended up in the water, and thinking back now I can’t remember how that happened and as it was his cousin (who is not a rower) was the one telling the story I didn’t feel that it was important to focus on.

Regardless of how he ended up in the water once I had heard that he was in the water I was now fixating on the fact that Dale’s rowing kit was now wet and the top white part would be even more transparent and just the thought of this part being visible above the water line was good enough, but then the thought of being a fly on the wall and watching his pecs, shoulders and back muscles flexing under wet white was just too exciting.

As my friend continued with the story it was lucky that we were sitting at a table as I could feel myself getting really excited as I pictured the scene of Dale in his wet rowing kit, but for now I needed stay with the story.

As with things like this it is a matter of working through the issues to get things done to get the boat sorted and yourself back safely to shore so whilst it wasn’t initially apparent to Dale as he worked his way through the situation it came time to get himself back into the boat and as he got himself ready to get back into his scull it was then that he realised that part of his old club kit had caught on the rigger and torn a rather inappropriately placed hole in his Lycra.

It wasn’t until Dale had got himself back into his scull that he realised that the rip in his rowing kit was so bad that there was no way that the material could hold him in and as he got himself ready to row off there was no hiding the fact that pouch that the material usually forms to hold everything in place was a thing of the past.

I’m sure the main thoughts on Dale’s mind as he rowed back to the club house was how he was going to get himself and the boat back into the club house without being arrested for indecent exposure, but the thought of him paddling back in his wet ripped kit was what I wanted to picture.

As Dale approached the club house he couldn’t see any one so he thought he was in the clear which was still the case as he pulled up next to the club, but he still knew that he had to get himself and his scull out of the water and into the boathouse before he was safe. After safely coming along side the club Dale knew that he had to be quick so he threw everything onto the path so that he could get out and get the boat out of the water whilst the coast was clear.

Thinking about it now, hindsight is a good thing and I might of (in his position) peeled the top part of my kit off and pulled it down below my waist but at this point I think he was just focused on getting the scull back onto it’s rack, so after getting the scull ready he bent down and picked his scull up out of the water and headed for the club but in this position with his arms and shoulders stretching to hold the boat the fabric had no option but to head upward which exposed him (if possible) more that in a normal standing position.

As Dale walked towards the club he scanned the path in front of him hoping that he wouldn’t see anyone but this wasn’t to be, because as he rounded a small bend in the path slowly but surely there was a juniors crew getting ready to take their boat out and there was no place to hide or any other option but to stride confidently past them.

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